


Only True Fans Collect Captain America Porn

by AcierGlace



Series: Requisition Form 616-EA [2]
Category: The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, The Losers (2010)
Genre: Definitely not canon compliant, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-10
Updated: 2018-07-11
Packaged: 2019-06-08 13:39:45
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 20,319
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15244608
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AcierGlace/pseuds/AcierGlace
Summary: Tony hadn't gone looking for Captain America porn. He found it anyway.Five Times Tony watched Captain America porn and nearly ruined everything.





	1. Chapter One

Only True Fans Collect Captain America Porn

 

1\. “Cap Gets Creamed” 

 

Tony didn't go looking for it. 

He lived with these people, had weekly meetings with their PR team, and saw them covered in green slime and aliens guts too often to get excited over unisex decontamination showers. 

Tony didn't go looking for Avengers porn. 

That didn't mean it didn't exist. He had sex tapes out there from his indecorous youth and a few raunchy videos when he'd taken the Ironnettes through Vegas. There was footage out there of Tony engaged in all kinds of indecent behavior, and once he'd started looking for that, he'd found the little there remained of the others. 

Natalie Rushman's lingerie photospread was not fake, but definitely part of a long-term con for Shield's behalf. Video footage existed of Clint Barton in truly horrible purple costumes in a circus ring and with a lot of indecent arrow shooting and building-jumping in various states of undress. Bruce Banner regularly lost his clothes to the Hulk transformations and sometimes couldn't salvage even the scraps of cloth of preserve his modesty. Hulk wasn't concerned with nudity in the least, and if Tony never saw mammoth green dong again in his life, he'd die happy. Thor had some misconceptions about nudity in public bathing areas, and didn't seem to care about answering a crisis call in the buff. 

Captain America was supposed to be the safe one. Sure, people wrote histories on his life. Hollywood produced several sordid and trashy war and romance movies about Captain America. Of course, none of the actors they ever got to play Cap looked remotely like the man. Peak of human perfection was a hard look to mimic. People had been trying to imitate Captain America well before he ever went down in the ocean. 

What little Tony found was still enough to warrant someone watching for future problems.

The PR team Tony hired was vaguely affiliated with Shield, and in response to the Avengers getting together, they trawled through the depths of the internet to pull the very unsavory out of the muck. You couldn't delete anything off the internet, but you could make it harder to get to. And Shield made it a high priority to bury everything they could. 

Some stuff they never touched. So unless it was a murder caught on camera or one of them expressing something that could be wildly taken out of context, the PR team had them leave it alone. 

Tony didn't go looking for Avengers porn. He went looking for the other stuff. 

He'd found some fun stuff, too. Apparently, there were groups out there who dressed up as the Avengers and did birthday parties, corporate events, and store openings. He'd met at least one of each of the team as Vegas impersonators. Some groups even started using their images to promote charities. Footage of their missions every day people caught on camera were used a reaction images, memes, and all kinds of shit Tony never paid much attention to. 

And the internet was for porn, so of course Avengers porn existed. 

But Captain America was supposed to be the safe one. 

Tony's cards had seen more offensive charges than some pay-per-view porn channel. He'd followed the recommendations of several prominent Captain America fans to the pay-per-view channel ManWithAPlan. Uncreative, sure, but whoever designed the channel knew what they were doing. 

What followed was a series of videos he was going to regret viewing. 

There were three videos to start. Created dates were older than the Chitauri Invasion, but the hit counter was astronomical considering. 

He wasn't being a creep. 

If Cap made porn and put it out on the internet, someone was going to see it. 

He loaded up the first one. 

Nothing crazy by porn standards. It was a little fuzzy cam video with the subject just far enough away from the camera to get his broad shoulders and dick in the same shot. 

It wasn't an official uniform. Tony had seen enough of them both before and after he'd met Cap, so he was pretty damn sure it wasn't actually Cap. Whoever it was had the cowl on, mouth parted and glistening wet, left arm moving as he stroked his bare dick. 

The shoulders looked broad enough. The way he tilted his head to the right and exhaled in a moan sounded right. The size of his dick looked right. 

His body went tense under the uniform and then he was coming all over his bare left hand and up the front of the uniform. The video ended there. 

Tony was achingly hard and completely fucking screwed. 

He watched the next two, part morbid curiosity and part desperate need. Both were masturbatory, but watching a Cap-look-a-like stuff a red gloved fist against his mouth while he moaned deep in his throat and splashed semen all over a shield-replica, watching that was going to haunt his dreams. 

He saved the website. He chose something innocuous as a username and subscribed to be notified for new content. 

He tried to put it out of his mind. 

“Cap gets creamed” appeared in his inbox and everything came rushing back. 

This wasn't solo. 

This was Cap on his knees in some indistinct room with gray walls with his gloved hands on some guy's thighs as he gave what was the most amateurish blowjob Tony had ever seen. It was very wet, which wasn't a criticism, and it was very sloppy-sounding. Wet slurping sounds, muffled whimpers, soft huffs of breath. It sounded exactly like he expected a blowjob to sound like if it was one of the first times you got to try it. 

He nursed the tip of the guy's cock, bringing up a bare hand also shiny with slick to work over the length he didn't have in his mouth. 

A black gloved hand rested on Cap's head, fingers tapping on the side of his head. Cap pulled off, hand working furiously over the guy's cock, and he turned his face to the side. The guy came in spurts on the side of Cap's face. 

Tony slammed a hand on the table, face burning and moments away from coming in his pants like a teenager on a hairtrigger. 

Something had to be done about this. 

 

2\. “Cap Gets An Assist” 

 

It was a few months later that a new video uploaded. 

The notification pinged early that morning, but Tony was on-call with the Avengers taking down the Serpent Society, so he pushed it aside for more immediate concerns. 

He brought it up in his lab later that afternoon, once he could have been sure he'd be left alone. 

“Cap Gets An Assist” was ten minutes and twenty-four seconds long. 

The first four minutes basically amounted to foreplay, but he couldn't look away. Cap was in uniform. This was a certified Avengers uniform. This was the uniform Coulson had a hand designing. It also had a lot of the post-Chitauri Invasion battle damage. 

Tony gripped the edge of the table. 

It could have been the same guy from the first video standing behind him, but Cap was the focus. This was a camera mounted on the door of a supply closet, which was evident by the shelving on either side of them with cleaning supplies. It looked like any other supply closet in Stark Tower, from what little of them Tony had seen. 

Cap rested his hands on the shelving, opening his chest up and giving his audience a full view. The man behind him was in a back-clad uniform that looked like Shield-issued, but his body was hidden behind the width of Cap's shoulders. 

They were very broad shoulders, especially compared to his waist. 

The other man had one hand on Cap's waist, the other hand working open the front of Cap's uniform.

Cap was staring just slightly to the right of the camera, cowl on but mouth parted. He wet his lips and let his head tilt back to open his throat as the other man pulled his cock free of the uniform pants. The other man still had black gloves on, but he lifted one hand and brought it up to Cap's mouth. 

Cap bit the tip of the glove, letting the man's hand slip out, and he kept the glove in his teeth. It muffled his moan when the man wrapped his bare hand over Cap's cock. Cap wasn't that slick yet, so it couldn't feel that great, but he moaned like it was the best thing he'd ever felt. 

The man had a callused hand, and it couldn't have been comfortable with everything so dry. 

Apparently they were solving that problem by opening one of the pouches on Cap's belt and taking out a lube packet. That made everything all nice and slick. 

Cap's hips twitched forward, driving his cock into the loose grip the other man had. 

It continued like that for a few minutes, and the only sounds picked up were Cap's muffled breathing and the slick sound of flesh on flesh. 

Tony placed a hand over his fly, pressing down on his cock. 

Cap started to thrust, little twitches of his hips that the other man stilled by wrapping his arm around Cap's middle. The glove fell from Cap's mouth at minute seven, as his head fell back further and he started to whine. The other man brought his arm up, fitting under Cap's arm, and clamped down over Cap's mouth. 

Cap took that as permission to moan louder, letting his arms hold his weight as his knees started to bend. He was dripping with precum and starting to soak into the crotch of the uniform. Minute nine and Cap was jerking in the other man's hold, and he was coming forty-five seconds later. 

The last of the video was the other man gentling him through the aftermath. He wiped his hand on Cap's thigh, then lifted Cap's cock and tucked him back into the uniform. 

It did nothing to hide how wrecked Cap looked. His face was flushed under the man's gloved hand. His arms weren't shaking, but his legs were basically wet noodles. 

It was the last thirty seconds that nearly made him come. Cap looked so vulnerable, purposefully made himself vulnerable, and the man behind him could be anyone. 

Anyone. 

Tony closed the video and took a few minutes to compose himself. 

“JARVIS, is Pepper busy right now?” 

“Ms. Potts is currently between meetings and will be so for the next twenty minutes,” JARVIS answered promptly. 

“Call the elevator to the lab. I need to get her opinion on something,” Tony said, grabbing a tablet from the table and leaving the lab. 

“Tony. Is something wrong? I never see you in here after a mission,” Pepper said as he breezed into her office. 

“I need you to watch something and not ask questions, okay? I swear this is completely serious,” Tony said, loading the video and turning the tablet towards her. 

Her eyebrows jumped up immediately, face twisting into a scowl. 

“Tony-” 

“This is important, okay. Not a joke. Watch.” Tony wiggled the tablet. “Condemn me after.” 

Pepper pressed her lips together, but her face steadily got redder. She swallowed thickly, eyes dilated, and she shifted in place at minute nine. 

Tony turned the video off and gave her a minute to compose herself. 

“You are going to explain that. Right now.”

“Is it Cap? I cannot tell and it's driving me insane.” Tony leaned forward towards her. “You've met him. You see him just about every day. Was that Cap?” 

“You're telling me it's not?” she asked, face relaxing in surprise. 

“I have no idea.” Tony placed his hands on the desk. “This is consuming my brain, Pep. I know it's lean times for heroes, but why the hell would Cap make porn to fund his hero habit?” 

“Especially since he's already got a sugar daddy,” she shot back. 

“What?! No! We're Shield-funded and you know it!” Tony started, then stopped as she smiled. “You're the actual devil.” 

“I think my jacket's Prada, or maybe my handbag. Of course, we work together, so that might have sealed it either way,” Pepper said, tapping her chin with a finger. “Maybe he's making porn for the man in the videos. I know we certainly tried things out just because one of us was interested.” 

“Porn and pegging are not even the same thing,” Tony argued. “Would you have done porn?” 

“You certainly have, so I don't really see why you're getting upset that Captain America is doing the same.” Pepper smiled wider, showing off her teeth. “Unless you're personally invested, of course.” 

“You know, I can see this was a mistake. I'm leaving now,” he announced, tucking the tablet close to his chest. “Don't breathe a word of this to anybody.” 

“I'm going to forget this ever happened,” Pepper promised, “And you'll never bring Captain America porn into my office again.” 

That was an easy thing to do, considering he felt like he had a target on his back the whole way from her office and back to his lab. 

“JARVIS, make a note. Pepper is not to be trusted.” 

“And how should that be filed, sir?” 

“Nevermind.”

 

3\. “Alleyway Pounding”

 

Pepper didn't let him forget. She smiled like the goddamn Mona Lisa every time she asked about how well he was sleeping. 

Pepper was on his shit-list. 

Tony was losing his damn mind. 

It wasn't affecting his performance in the field, mostly because he could compartmentalize his feelings until after things were done chewing on him. Or after he was being slung like a bat at the nearest big bad. And even after he had to fly Cap to Shield Medical when a mutant acid-spitter nearly dissolved his left arm. 

He was a perfect team player in the field.

Iron Man, yes. Tony Stark, not recommended. Second verse, same as the first.

He couldn't focus in the lab. Too many computer screens, too many shiny surfaces. 

He couldn't focus in meetings. Too boring, mostly. 

He definitely couldn't focus in the bedroom. Too much privacy for fantasy. 

He had dreams. Dreams about being the person Cap trusted to stand behind him, to let himself be vulnerable and open, to give himself over to Tony to be loved. 

It was fucking up his brain, especially when he had to get up and stumble to the coffee machine Pepper wouldn't let him install in his bedroom. He wasn't at the top of his game before coffee, and Cap being no more awake than he was lead to awkward times. 

He had to stop himself several times from just leaning into Cap's slumped body and standing together in front of the coffee machine until the carafe was full. Cap wouldn't have noticed anything odd, but Tony couldn't be sure he wouldn't sneak a hand somewhere inappropriate for a teammate's hand to be. 

He stopped hanging out alone with Cap. 

He really was a terrible teammate, and he couldn't work up to the nerve to just ask if Cap was doing porn. He'd watched everything there was to watch and couldn't stop himself. 

When “Alleyway Pounding” debuted, Tony was four weeks past uninterrupted sleep, ten canceled plans with Cap, and one mistake away from outting the whole thing to the team. 

“Alleyway Pounding” was any generic New York alley after dark, lit up by neon and LED lights from the street, and possibly one or more personal spotlights. Cap was in the iteration of the armor Tony designed for stealth use, a dark navy with a flat silver star, and he had his forearms braced on the alley wall. There were his fingerless brown gloves, his utility harness, his fucking shield. 

The Shield was propped in front of him, angled so the light caught its shiny surface and only the most expensive metals gleamed like that. Someone spent a lot of money on that Shield. It was also angled like a target, and Tony was pretty sure he was about to see another bullseye happen. 

Cap was bent almost in half. His uniform pants were pushed down to his knees. His beautiful ass was nearly glowing. A man in dark fatigues, again appearing to be Shield issue, had his own uniform pants open and was thrusting hard into Cap's ass. 

Tony had to stop it right there and look away. 

He could not watch Cap get fucked in an alley. 

He could not. 

He started the video again. 

Cap was bowing his back into the thrusts, moans just audible enough for it to be clear he was saying yes. 

Tony stopped it. 

Somehow, this felt more skeevy than watching Cap masturbate or giving oral or being given a handjob. 

This was clearly going for a rushed coupling after a late night Avenging call. Cap needed to bleed off the adrenaline, maybe, or just too desperate to wait to get somewhere safer. He met up with his lover and found somewhere semi-private. 

Maybe that's what it was. This was semi-public. Anyone could see. Anyone could walk down that alley and see Cap taking dick like a seasoned pro. 

Tony stopped the video and pressed his hands to his face. 

It didn't help anything. 

“Sir. War Machine is incoming to the landing pad,” JARVIS said. 

“I'm going up to meet him. Lock everything behind me. No one in until I've personally escorted Rhodey down, understand?” Tony minimized the screen on the off chance that a wall would vanish and someone would stumble in. 

“Yes, sir,” JARVIS said, “Colonel Rhodes has just landed. Car Wash is now engaged.” 

Tony was peeling out of the elevator, passed a startled Barton, and threw himself at Rhodey just as the last of the armor was tucked down and into the gantry. 

“Jesus! Tony, what the hell.” Rhodey steadied them, but Tony didn't have time for this nonsense. 

“You need to come to the lab. Right. Now.” He snagged the front of Rhodey's shirt and tugged, walking backwards until he had to turn and navigate the penthouse floor. 

“Something going on?” Barton asked. He had a hand hovering over a tablet, and his other worryingly loose at his side. “Stark?” 

“I need Rhodey in the lab. No disturbances. None.” He sounded bitchy to his own ears, so Barton could only be hearing it worse, but Rhodey hadn't blinked. “Don't call unless half the world's on fire, and even then, give it a minute.” 

“Right,” Barton said, looking over Tony's shoulder at Rhodey. “Hear you loud and clear, Stark.” 

“You know he's gonna think we're fucking,” Rhodey said, safely in the elevator and away from prying teammates. “And to be honest, man, I think I deserve better than your booty call.” 

“What?” Tony asked, digging his fingers in tighter. “You know I treat you right, honeybear.” 

“What's going on with you, Tony?” Rhodey touched the hand Tony had wrapped in his shirt collar. “Pepper didn't say anything, just that I needed to get here before she killed you herself.” 

“We don't say her name here,” Tony said, free hand tapping against his thigh. “You speak her name, you summon her. And my heart can't take it.” 

“Pepper's already tried to help but you didn't like what she was saying, “Rhodey guessed. 

“She's a devil. Not to be trusted.” Tony pulled him out of the elevator and to the lab, waving security clearance with his hand. JARVIS opened the doors. “I am going to show you something, and you're going to give me your honest opinion, understand?” 

Rhodey stumbled as Tony pushed him into a chair and pulled up the correct screen. 

“Save the questions for the end,” Tony said, “Watch.” 

He started the video, not giving Rhodey any time to process what he was seeing. Cap was still being fucked with vigor in a New York alley. 

“Shit!” Rhodey shouted, hands jumping up to stop the video. “Tony, what is wrong with you?!” 

“Is that Cap?” 

“What?! Is that Cap? This look like security footage or something!” 

“Right?! Pepper said I shouldn't get judgmental about it, but he's doing porn, Rhodey! Porn!” Tony waved an accusing hand at the video. “I mean, that's definitely him, right?” 

“Looks like him,” Rhodey said, but then he leaned forward, pulling the video closer. “But I don't think Cap's got a mole there.” 

Tony's eyes jumped to the screen, trying to see what Rhodey saw. “Really? I've pulled medical records, but they don't list any identifying scars at all. Speculation is that Rebirth wiped them away or something.” 

Rhodey was quiet, and when Tony looked away from Cap's exposed ass, it was to meet Rhodey's unimpressed glare. 

“I honestly have no idea if the man has a mole there,” Rhodey said, “But you've just admitted into hacking his medical files and now you've got his porn tape up in your lab. I'm kinda worried right now, Tony.” 

“I only did that cause of this!” Tony waved the video aside and pulled up the main page for the pay-per-view channel. “This has been going on for months!” 

“Yeah I'm getting that. You know, it was cute when you were fourteen and had a stack of Captain America comics hidden with your porn, but now it's just getting weird.” Rhodey crossed his arms and leaned into the back of the chair. 

“I don't know what to do about this. I can't tell the team. I can't just ask Cap. I need to delete my brain and then all of my knowledge of this. This is cursed.” Tony leaned into Rhodey, pressing his forehead into his shoulder. Rhodey shifted and wrapped an arm around him, using the other to close the webpage. 

“I think you need to sleep. And definitely not look at any more porn.” Rhodey used both arms to steer Tony back to the couch and guided them both onto it. “You could ask Cap about it.” 

“I really can't. I'm sure he thinks I hate him or something, now. I haven't been able to hang out with him since I found that stupid site.” Tony whined in his throat when Rhodey brought a hand up to his hair and scratched the short hair at the back of his neck. 

“I think you're being stupid about this. You're invading his privacy, and don't give me that shit about the internet being public. Shield Medical is not Wikipedia. And it's different when you watch your friend's secret porn and not say something. If you'd done it early on, you both could have laughed about it and moved on. Now. Now, you've waited too long and Cap at least knows something's wrong.” 

“It's Cap.” That was all Tony had to say about it. It was Cap. “I'm being such a creep.” 

“You're either robbing the cradle or the grave. It's kinda a blurred line there,” Rhodey said, laughing a little as Tony stiffened. 

“Oh god. No more. I'm unsubscribing and we're gonna go blow some shit up somewhere and we'll never speak about it again.” 

“And tell Cap you found his porn?” 

“No. Never speak about it again, right? I can put this in the past and not look back.” 

“Right. Cause you're not all about holding onto the past,” Rhodey muttered. He wrapped both arms around Tony and pulled so they were both horizontal on the couch, dropping Tony into the space between the back of the couch and Rhodey's body. “I just got here, so we're gonna take a nap before we blow shit up. Might as well relive all of our MIT days if we're not discussing the Captain America porn again.” 

“You're the best, honeybear.” 

 

4\. “Shore Leave” 

 

Tony didn't unsubscribe. 

He meant to, but after their nap, Rhodey lead him out into the shooting range and they blew up targets in tandem. And halfway through, an Assemble call went through to stop Doom blowing up Central Park. Rhodey fell into place with the team and he was sure any weirdness and side eye the team was giving them was due to that. 

Not because of the significant looks Barton kept giving them. 

He intended to unsubscribe. Honestly. But when presented with the option, he couldn't do it. If he knew it was going on, it felt like he had a handle on it, and not like Cap was carrying on this double life. 

He had JARVIS shuffle it lower on the priority list. He couldn't obsessively watch video after video without a notification going out to Pepper and Rhodey. That was too pathetic to allow to happen. 

He let the videos skip by, watching them as cold and analytically as he could. It wasn't much, but he could watch Cap jerk off, suck, and/or fuck his way through a series of black-clad men you could barely see. He could watch that and only feel scummy for a few hours after. 

He tried to be nicer to Cap. He did try. But listening to Cap enjoy his first cup of coffee was too much. No one should be that appreciative of caffeine. 

Coffee was too much for Tony, so all other plans were right out. 

And it's not like Cap wanted his company while him and Sam played Where's Waldo with the Winter Soldier. 

“-should be back in a week. Think you can hold the fort?” 

“Hm?” Tony asked, tuning back in to Natasha when she took his tumbler from his hand. 

“Steve and Sam are gone for the week. I'm going on assignment in Naples. Clint is somewhere in the bowels of the Triskelion. Bruce and Thor are both off with their girlfriends. Rhodes is back with his government handlers. Pepper is in the Tokyo offices this week. You're flying solo so please keep everything in one piece.” She tipped all of his whiskey down her throat in one smooth motion, setting the tumbler down on the desk with a heavy clink. 

“I don't see why I need to be told about all of this. The Four are here this week if Doom comes back or Molecule Man breaks out of prison or the Wrecking Crew show up. I'm not so far up my own ass that I can't see how bad it would be if I went out alone on Avenging calls.” Tony snagged his tumbler and poured another finger or five. 

“I can see you'll cope well,” Natasha said, taking the glass again. 

Tony stared at his empty hand and decided fuck it. 

There was maybe about three fingers left in the decanter and he had no problem drinking it all down. 

“I'll be very surprised if the Tower's standing at the end of the week, I suppose. Still. If you can keep your shit together for nine days, I'm making bank,” Natasha said, taking the other decanter of whiskey he'd brought down to the lab with her on her way out the door. 

“You're welcome,” he muttered, “Like I can't keep my shit together.” 

“Scientifically proven that you absolutely cannot,” she said over her shoulder, “Nine days, Stark.” 

“I like how you all have these little side adventures without me, but the minute I fly down anywhere, I can't do it without at least one escort.” Tony stared at her back, frowning when she stopped in the doorway of the lab. “What?” 

“No one's going anywhere alone,” she said, “I'm meeting up with a Shield team, and I'm pretty sure Jennifer Walters is with Pepper.” 

“I'm alone,” he said, feeling like a pouty child. 

“JARVIS is here. Spiderkid is showing up in a few days to take his new suit through its paces.” Natasha smiled, wriggling her hand in a little wave. “Behave for nine days, Stark.” 

That was also about four days ago. 

Peter did show up, but he couldn't stay. He liked the new suit, had a lot of suggestions about implementing his designs into its integration, and needed just a little help working through his non-math homework. 

Tony hadn't liked Much Ado About Nothing the first time he'd had to read it. Reading it through a second time with JARVIS providing cultural translations with a teenager as his study partner was not a fun way to spend a Friday. 

It was better than watching Captain America porn alone and sobbing into his whiskey. 

Until he was literally alone with only the bots and JARVIS for company. Sure he had meetings to attend, but they didn't need even half his concentration. 

“Shore Leave” was a little more personal than the others, and he'd thought the others were personal. 

“Shore Leave” was filmed from a camera phone. 

There were some aesthetically chosen shots of white sand and the lower half of the current Captain America uniform. The camera jerked to Cap's broad back, the surf just beyond his shoulders, and then down to the sand again. It wasn't strong enough to pick up whatever they were saying, but their tones were light. 

Happy. 

It cut out and when it was back, it took Tony a second to figure out what was going on. 

A broad back filled out the scope of the camera, and he could see only the trimmed blonde hair at the back of Cap's neck. It panned down the defined muscles of Cap's back to his perfect ass. One hand was holding the camera, and the other hand was two fingers deep in Cap's ass. 

The camera moved in little jerks to get his entire ass in the shot, and then dropped a little lower to get a full view of his taint and heavy balls. 

Apparently, he manscaped or the serum really did do everything. 

Tony stopped the video and minimized the screen. 

No one was going to know if he did it. 

JARVIS certainly wasn't going to say anything. 

He might never be able to look Cap in the eyes again after this, but no one would know the real reason why. 

Tony stared at the workshop ceiling and pulled up the screen with a wave of his hand. 

His hands should be shaking, but they were steady as he dropped his hand to his fly and opened his pants. He cupped himself in his palm and felt a little shame that he wouldn't need lube. Just that one picture was enough to have him wet and dripping. 

He let the video start again, and he could picture those were his fingers. They were rough hands. Someone who worked with their hands. If they were Shield, they were a field agent. Someone who understood Cap's need to help and be the one to risk everything just so the rest of the world could spin on blissfully happy. Someone who understood the risks and knew not to waste time by being too afraid to tell him their feelings. 

Someone who could have been Tony if he wasn't such a coward. 

He would have made an offhand invitation after a mission, said something about one of the many private islands he had where they could relax for a few days and recharge. The world wouldn't wait, you learned to make time for things that were important, so he'd have offered and Cap would have accepted. 

They'd have gone without the team, though that would have been a hard sell. He'd have blackmailed, bullied, kindly suggested, scheduled alternate destinations, and begged the rest of the Avengers to let him have this time with Cap. 

And when they got there, it would have been white sand beaches and as much privacy as you could need. 

Cap didn't sunburn, and Tony had more of his mother's complexion. They'd strip down to their skin, despite protestations on both sides about the sand. He could see either of them advocating for or against the sand, but the focus here was they'd both end up naked on the beach. 

Maybe they'd make it to the water. Maybe not. 

He could picture the kisses on the beach that would have lead up to fingering Cap on the sand. He'd have been coaxing and gentle, trying to show Cap how much he wanted him without pulling his mouth away from his perfect neck, shoulders, back. He wouldn't let his fingers have the only fun. 

Maybe Cap would have been direct about what he wanted, like when they were on mission and he needed Iron Man to get his tin ass over to catch Hawkeye. 

He could hear the growled commands to kiss his ass, smarmy and too out of character for Captain America. 

Perfectly in character for Steve, though. 

Steve would complain about the sand, but he'd tap his fingers against his thighs for want of a pencil and paper to draw out the shoreline. He'd grimace at the sand stuck to his shins and give Tony such a droll look about it. He'd roll his eyes at Tony's great sense of humor, but he'd go loose and pliant under Tony's hands. He'd take Tony's Zeppelin shirt to put under his knees and keep his uniform for his upper half. Steve would sigh as Tony massaged the tension out of his shoulders. 

He'd shudder as Tony pressed his first kiss just behind his left ear. He'd go still as Tony kept lining kisses across his neck to his other ear and then down to the center of his shoulders. If they'd been in the water first, he'd only get the taste of salt, but it made sense for Steve to taste a little like salt. 

His muscles would flex under Tony's teeth and tongue. His breath would hitch as Tony found sensitive spots that Steve didn't know he had. His breath would hitch a little higher as Tony ran his mouth lower, absolutely sure of himself in one thing, at least. 

He was always good with his mouth. 

Cap would've been wide-eyed and breathless at the first touch of Tony's tongue to his hole, but Steve wouldn't have held back. He'd shout, moan, berate, cajole, and order Tony to make him feel good. He'd demand it, and Tony was going to obey. Captain America wouldn't have expected anything but a trip to the beach, but Steve would have been clean and ready. 

He might not have expected Tony to put his mouth on his hole, but he'd have prepared for it. 

Steve would respond beautifully, hissing when Tony's goatee rubbed his sensitive skin, moaning when he made everything sloppy wet with a swipe of his tongue, whimpering when he sucked the furled skin. 

Steve would be the one to drag lube out of his uniform pouch and hit Tony with the single-use packet, unerring aim even when loose with need. He'd have nothing but trust and praise when Tony breached him with a finger and worked their way to two. 

Tony was good with his hands, too.

He'd lean over Steve's back to whisper into his ear, drag his tongue over the back of Steve's neck and blow gentle breaths on the wet skin every time he worked his fingers over Steve's prostate. He'd want to replace that shiver from the cold with the memory of Tony's fingers dragging brutally over his prostate and milking him for his pleasure. 

Steve would be purposefully still, would be shaking in place if not for his own rigid training. He had more mass than Tony, never mind being so much stronger, and he would buck like a wild horse if Tony wasn't pressed over his back and biting gently at his earlobe. 

Steve was broad enough that Tony could lean his weight on him and use his other hand to lift and rub his balls. He'd sink his teeth into that meaty part of Steve's shoulder and change his angle of approach, reaching around Steve to find his cock. 

He'd be just as wet as Tony, dripping all over Tony's '69 red silk screen Hindenburg. He'd have to preserve that thing in a fucking shadow box to stare at in the lab. Immortalize that moment. Turn 20K into priceless art.

It would get to be too much. Tony had much less patience than Steve could have, and eventually the feeling of Steve clenching like a vise around his fingers, jerking in his hand with truly epic shots of precum, moaning like Tony was every good thing he deserved in life, eventually that would be too much. 

Tony locked his jaw and came over his fist, swallowing back Steve's name. 

The video had finished, and Tony opened his eyes, not sure when he'd closed them, to see the final image of Cap's back and shoulders littered with bite marks and semen splashed all the way to his cropped blonde hair. 

It was jarring. 

He used his clean hand to wave the screen closed and dig around the work top for a clean cloth. 

Dummy rolled over with a clean towel, and it felt like Tony should be ashamed. 

He'd just masturbated in front of his bots and JARVIS to some stranger finger fucking Captain America and coming all over his back like he was a cheap hooker. 

He should be ashamed. 

Instead, he felt grounded. 

There. 

It was done. 

Out of his system. 

He could watch whatever he wanted and have this one indulgence be it. 

He could move passed this. 

“Sir, Captain Rogers and Mr. Wilson have returned to the Tower,” JARVIS said. 

“Earlier than expected, so I guess they're right on time,” Tony says, because of course they're back now. 

At least they weren't here five minutes ago and banging on the lab doors. Cap had access even when Tony was in blackout. Definitely not the way he would have wanted to be found. 

“I'll shower down here and tell them I'll be up in twenty,” Tony said, “Since you're not reporting third party unknown or Winter Soldier in residence, I'm to take it they were unsuccessful.” 

“From what I can gather, they appear to have been found by General Ross' Hulkbusters unit and lost the Winter Soldier in the ensuing chaos.” 

“Why does no one tell me these things until after it's all over?” Tony bitched, wiping his hand on the rag Dummy waved at him. He stripped on the way to the emergency shower, letting Dummy pick up the clothes to drop in the chute. 

He had a spare shirt and jeans somewhere in this place. 

Turned out he had Rhodey's old lacrosse shirt, from his capricious high school career before MIT, and what were probably either Bruce's or Thor's jeans. They were likely the pair of Thor's that came secondhand from Jane's previous boyfriend, since they were bigger at the waist, longer at the leg, and were more holes and ragged denim than functional jeans. 

“I believe they are from the Molecule Man incident, sir, when Mr. Odinson lost his Asgardian armor. I am not certain why they are in the lab,” JARVIS said, helpfully closing down anything incriminating on the screens. 

Tony felt a little dissociated and more than a little nervous to see Cap. He'd take one look and just know Tony had been doing something unholy. 

He followed the sounds of people in the tower once he was out of the elevator. 

Wilson and Cap were in the kitchen, most of their uniforms dumped in the space under the bar, though he didn't see Cap's shield or the Falcon wings. 

“Welcome back,” he said, “World safe again for Hulk?” 

“Tony,” Cap said, sounding a little surprised. 

Probably because he was out of the lab voluntarily. 

What they didn't tell you about running a superhero halfway house was how attached you'd get to them. It was like he didn't know how to be alone anymore. 

“JARVIS tell you about the Hulkbusters then?” Wilson asked, sitting on one side of the bar with a huge sandwich on the plate in front of him while Cap was on the other side, sandwich fixings on the counter. 

“Of course. Would have been nice to know about it at the time of the incident, but hey. Whatever. Sorry he scared off your prom date, Cap. We'll have to have him take some parenting classes or something. How not to be a helicopter parent,” Tony said, barely paying attention to what he was saying, and instead watching how the two suddenly started having this body language conversation right in front of him. 

Wilson smiled at 'prom date' just as Cap's face reddened. Wilson jerked his head Tony's way, quick and brief, but Cap shut whatever that was down, lips tightening and the spots on his cheeks getting brighter. Wilson tilted his head, laughed a little, briefly lifted his hands in a conciliatory manner, and picked up his sandwich. Cap rolled his eyes and resolutely didn't look at Tony. 

Oh. 

Tony felt pale and flushed all at the same time. 

Right. 

Of course that's why they were looking for the Winter Soldier. 

Bucky Barnes. 

Cap's BFF. 

Cap's BF.

Right. 

Maybe that's what the videos were actually about. Not a secret lover, exactly, but acting out a secret love. Bucky Barnes might be lost under all that brainwashing, leaving only bits and pieces that the Winter Soldier couldn't shake. Maybe Cap was substituting someone who could be anybody, any random Shield agent, to chase something of that love. 

People did dumb, dramatic things for love all the time. Maybe he'd think he'd have space to fantasize about the lives they could have been leading if they'd been magically transported to this time instead of being frozen and re-heated like Marie Callander's. Some Shield grunt would keep it quiet, since all of Shield basically worshipped the ground Cap walked on, and knew he had something special he'd lose if he opened his mouth about it. 

There was that newish sniper in the Shield ranks. Dark-haired and deadly and deathly quiet, but that probably wasn't a turn off. 

He wouldn't be saying anything if Cap called out for his Bucky instead. 

Now Tony felt some shame. 

He dropped his eyes to the ground, letting the silence fill the air, and walked to the fridge. 

“Just came up to say hey. Out of juice down in the shop fridge. Better to just get my juice and say hey all at the same time, right?” Tony said, blindly grabbing for the bottle of Mango-Passion Fruit juice with the large 'Not Hawkeye's' note taped to it. “I'm halfway through something for SI, but if you wanna leave the suit and wings at the door, I'll get on getting them mission ready again.” 

“You don't have to do that, Tony,” Cap said. 

Tony jumped, since Cap sounded a lot closer than he'd thought, and turned to see Cap frowning at his back. He smoothed out his face when he noticed Tony saw him. 

“Not right now, anyway.” Wilson said, raising his voice slightly. His face was open and calm, too, not at all like they'd been laughing about Steve's Soldier crush. “Cap's making sandwiches, we're on standby until the rest of the team gets back, and there's an Aliens marathon on TNT right now.” 

“That's-” Tony stopped when Cap gave Wilson a pointed look. 

Cap knew something was up, and after canceling a bunch of plans, he probably didn't want Tony around. And Tony mocked his boyfriend. Tony was being secretive and snarky and wasn't going to share with the class, and he'd probably would rather spend time with a real friend and not the pale imitation that Tony was. 

“No thanks. Like I said, working on something,” he said, holding the juice to his chest. “I think the rest of the team'll be here in a few days. Maybe we'll all go out and get something then. Ever tried Cambodian? Really good Cambodian place not that far. Rhodey and I go all the time.” He turned on his heel and fled to the elevator, letting his mouth run on without giving them a chance to object. “Just drop your uniforms and wings at the door and I'll get them all shiny and new for you. Like I said. And this's pretty important to the Tokyo R&D guys, so I'm gonna be working through usual dinner times. Time zones and shit. See ya later!” 

Tony pressed the button for his lab as soon as he was in the elevator. 

He hugged the juice to his chest and tried to feel better about this whole situation. 

“Graceful exit as always, sir,” JARVIS said. 

“Pinnacle of class right here,” Tony agreed, “Go ahead and pull up that Hamada kid's proposal about medical droids. Might as well make some intern's dreams a reality.” 

 

5\. “Debriefing”

 

It wasn't out of his system. 

Sure, he only masturbated once, but he'd figured out how to watch from anywhere and he was the one who designed JARVIS's programming, so of course he knew how to get around him. 

No snitching to Rhodey and Pepper. 

Of course, he was also supremely judgmental about Tony's porn habits now.

Tony might actually have a problem. 

The videos kept appearing. 

Tony kept watching. 

Now, it was more like a punishment. 

See what you could have had kinda thing. 

But maybe not. 

Not if Cap was mooning after Bucky Barnes. It had probably always been Bucky. 

Tony never had a chance. 

So this was punishment porn. 

There was a very small chance that Cap neither made the porn nor pined after Barnes. It was a very, very small chance. There were greater odds that a marshmallow man would try to destroy Central Park. 

True to his word, Rhodey never mentioned the Cap porn. It didn't stop him from pulling Tony aside at the end of every Avengers call he joined to talk meaningfully around it. 

The rest of the team had clearly picked up that something was going down. Several of them had even attempted discreet questioning, of which the most memorable was Thor. Tony was going to have to revise what he thought about Thor. Man obviously knew how to play the long game and had stopped praising Tony's tech when Asgard was on another plane entirely. No more 'mighty praise' on the newest quinjet design when Lady Sif and the Warriors Three gatecrashed an Avengers call on an Asgardian sledge. 

It was pretty and shiny and built for speed. 

Lady Sif did not let him try it out. 

Thor was the one to watch, he was sure. The spy twins may have him actually bugged, Wilson could probably read minds, and Cap probably knew after Tony's crack about flexibility considering how straight his spine went. 

This was exactly why Fury hadn't wanted him on the team. No one who ever had Cap's poster up on his bedroom door from ages four to seventeen deserved to meet his hero. Of course he was going to make it weird. 

The videos didn't get any less interesting.

He liked himself a little less after each one, though. 

Rhodey had been right. He should have confronted Cap right after he found the first one. Then he wouldn't be sitting alone in his room, holding a tablet in one hand and a tequila bottle in the other. He hadn't opened it, yet, mostly for fear that he'd start drinking it until it was empty and that was a mistake. 

He hadn't really had a lot to eat today so he'd be ten sheets in the wind and with no clear route into an isolated area. He'd be drunk and ready to spill all of his secrets to a room full of people interested in learning those secrets. 

And if Pepper suggested one more date with the newest Avengers DevOps team member, he was going to hook a bottle up to an iv drip, skip all the fun drinking part. He'd go on the date like that, too, to prove her wrong about whatever. Something. 

Like what he felt was shallow and born of hero worship and he didn't even really know the guy. 

But Tony did know him. 

Steve wasn't an early morning person, but he made himself get up early like clockwork. He'd drink enough coffee to walk in a straight line and then go for a run. He'd run the same route, but he'd make different stops depending on the specials of the day. He'd buy breakfast and eat two bearclaws on the elevator back up. He'd fervently deny eating the bearclaws. 

Steve would spend the day doing Steve-things. Like taking online classes, visiting terminal children in the hospital, touring Brooklyn for familiar sights, posting inflammatory messages against people using his image, and working out like the world was being threatened by a surplus of punching bags. Steve-things. 

He'd be ready for an Assemble call at a moment's notice, though. 

And if they weren't called out, he'd be bonding with whoever of the team were in residence. He and Spiderkid had a dumb contest of strength thing going, Barton was teaching him video gaming consoles from the Atari to the Switch and every thing Tony had whipped up himself Frankenstein-like, Bruce was sharing his humanitarian efforts and how you could help even from a distance, he went on tours of New York museums with Thor to learn old and modern Earth cultures, Natasha was broadening his movie horizons, and of course Wilson was his go-to Winter Soldier Hunting buddy and the man's best friend. 

Tony used to be his go-to dinner partner. He'd made it his personal mission to feed Steve something from every place on Manhattan island not currently closed due to health violations. He still had food delivered, but it wasn't the same. 

He missed how Steve would light up after eating something Tony would refuse to explain the ingredients of. His eyes would crinkle slightly, he'd smirk just a little, and the tips of his ears would flush pink. He'd meet Tony's eyes and raise a brow, ready for the next challenge. 

He missed it. 

He missed the walks to the food trucks, the taxis to hole in the wall shops, the armor trips out to the farthest reaches of the island because of a yelp review. 

He missed how easy it was to be Steve's friend. 

It was significantly more complicated to be the only one who knew about the porn. 

It was doubtful the spy twins didn't know porn existed, but they hadn't confronted Cap about it. Another point in his favor that he wasn't making it, Tony supposed, but no one had said anything about it. 

“JARVIS, do you think everyone else knows?” 

“Knows, sir?” JARVIS asked. 

“Nevermind. Hey, when did we start hosting our data like this?” Tony reached for the Avengers Server on display to his right, pulling the screen over to get a look at the multi-dimensional platform that it became. It was a web of Avengers enemies, their gear, their combat formations, so much of their network spun into a labyrinth and a web of connections. 

Viewing everything like this made it easy to see where their faults laid, where their strengths shone, where they could be more efficient. 

“My newest recruit for the Avengers Developmental Security and Head of Operational Security. Mr. Jensen has made several contributions to our security within the tower,” JARVIS said, and he sounded pleased. 

My newest recruit, he'd said. 

“Aw, did you make a friend JARVIS?” 

“I believe I have, sir. Though, you are still my first priority,” JARVIS said. 

“I should meet him if he does work like this,” Tony said, selecting things at random and watching it unfurl. “I'm impressed.” 

“I believe he holds only the highest regard for you, as well, sir.” 

Well. 

JARVIS had a friend. 

This was pretty novel. 

“Sir, I believe that he would be delighted to meet you,” JARVIS ventured, and that snapped something together in Tony's brain.

“Is this the same Jensen that Pepper was trying to set me up with? Are you in cahoots with the devil, J?” Tony shoved the program away from him and crossed his arms. The drawback to building your AI into the very walls of the building meant you didn't have a single focal point to glare at. 

“The very same, sir,” JARVIS said stiffly. 

“Thanks but no thanks.”

Tony realized that somehow he had isolated himself in a tower full of people. And JARVIS. And he had a very, very small group of friends. 

If he stormed out now, he had no one to storm off to without getting some kind of lecture. 

Goddamned depressing. 

“Suit, J, and a flight plan for Randy's Donuts. I think I need some time alone.” 

“Any particular suit, sir, or shall I simply pick at random?” 

“How about Mark 4 while I'm feeling nostalgic?” 

“Loading Mark 4 into the gantry for deployment, sir.” 

“Blackout codes unless an Avenger call comes in, JARVIS,” Tony said, heading for the elevator. 

The penthouse floor wasn't deserted when he made it up, but he didn't stop for pleasantries. 

“Going somewhere?” Cap asked, pausing the game he was playing with Barton. Spiderkid bounced up from the floor, excitement on his face. 

“Did you need someone to go with you?” 

“No,” he said, and winced when the kid's smile dropped and Barton exchanged a significant look with Cap. “Sorry, but no. Stuck on something so I'm going out to clear my head. Looking at the same problems from the same perspectives is killing my brain.” 

“Oh. Did- Did you want to talk it out? Like we did the play? I told you I got an awesome grade for our analysis, right?” Spiderkid pressed. 

“Hey, great job, then. All you, kid.” Tony sighed as the kid just wriggled his fingers together, looking anxious. “You'll have to get the Iron Spider, okay? If not, we'll be scraping you off Route 66 somewhere.” 

“Yes!” Spiderkid ran for the elevator. “Don't leave!” 

“Hurry up or Rhodey'll beat us there!” Tony shouted, just to make it seem like he wasn't running off for donuts and a cry by himself. He could always say Rhodey couldn't make it. 

Barton punched Cap's shoulder as Tony turned back to them. Cap was staring at the controller, face tight. Tony stiffened. 

Right. Tony could make time for Rhodey and the kid, but not Cap. 

“Where you headed out to then if the kid needs that?” Barton asked. 

“I did all my best thinking from a giant donut when I was in Malibu. I'm hoping it'll kick something loose for me,” Tony said, ignoring how Cap sighed and refused to look at him. “Petty sure Fury knows the place.” 

“Natasha said the coffee was shit,” Barton said, agreeing tacitly that the spy twins gossiped about them. 

“Natasha's Russian. If it's not vodka straight, it's shit,” Tony protested, because their coffee could double as jet fuel and he was tempted to test that. 

“Ready!” Spiderkid shouted, landing a jump right in front of Tony and retracting the spiderlegs. 

Tony smiled almost against his will at the sheer enthusiasm. 

“Let me get suited up and we'll go,” Tony said, looking away from the preening Spiderkid to go for the Car Wash. “JARVIS knows to notify me for an Avengers call. Don't burn down the Tower while we're gone.” 

Barton gave him a halfhearted goodbye, but Cap was silent. 

They started their game before Tony was out the door and he gritted his teeth to keep from saying something. Spiderkid was appropriately awed by the gantry, like he'd never seen it pull Tony out of the armor before. It flattered his ego nicely, but Tony wasn't that pathetic to get worked up over praise from a high schooler. 

They made record time to Randy's Donuts, even in the old Mark 4, and everyone was appropriately impressed by the pair of them. Tony found himself telling the kid stories from MIT and avoiding fallen powdered sugar from overhead, as the kid insisted on lounging upsidedown in the donut hole. 

“I cannot believe War Machine can do a tsukahara. You're making that up,” Spiderkid accused. 

“Honest to JARVIS,” Tony said, clasping a hand over his chest in sincerity. “We jerryrigged a vault out of a park bench and some gym mats, and we proved those fuckers at Harvard wrong. Pro-tip kid. Do not trust anyone from Harvard. They are full of lies and false promises. We delivered a perfect tsukahara and they welched.” 

Spiderkid laughed, almost dropping the donut in his hand. 

“I, of course, mastered a high bar routine which remained undefeated for several years. They had to name a gym room after us. And never again bet against a Stark,” Tony grinned up at the kid. “I might have been in college at your age, but it fucked up my social life. If I didn't have Rhodey, I would have been miserable. So don't knock the high school experience. Stops you from calling a panel of Senators ass clowns.” 

“Yeah, I guess, but it worked out for you.” 

“We are sitting a giant donut 2800 miles from home. Notice the distinct lack of Rhodey or friends or well-meaning acquaintances. I'm kinda solo-ing it these days cause I can't act like a fucking adult.” Tony sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose between his fingers. “And I'm spilling my guts to a kid who does not deserve to listen to my self-pity. Goddamn it.” 

Spiderkid was quiet for a moment and Tony didn't dare look up. 

“I didn't want to let you down when you stepped up for me. With the suit and all the responsibility. I wanted to make you proud. I still want to make you proud. But you're not the only person I've got to make proud. There's a lot to live up to when you make the choice to stand up for others. It's really hard.” Spiderkid landed next to him and bumped his shoulder. “Kinda nice to know I'm not the only one who struggles with it.” 

“We all do, kid. Best adult bullshit in the world. Everyone's struggling with it,” Tony said, and he let himself lean against the kid's shoulder. “Want to go see my Malibu place?” 

“Yeah!” 

Tony flew them back a few hours after the kid got tired of poking at the particle accelerator. He'd dug up the replica shield and held it with barely contained awe. It was very easy to gift it to the kid, if only to watch him nearly break into grateful pieces. 

“Careful, Parker. That's not vibranium,” Tony teased, letting the gantry disassemble the armor around him as Spiderkid hopped around the viewing deck with the shield on one arm. 

“This is still so cool! Are you sure I can have it?” 

“Considering what you told the Smithsonian when they asked, I'm absolutely shocked you're handing off Captain America memorabilia,” Pepper said, startling Tony into paying attention to what was going on. The team was out on the viewing deck, half a feast on the low tables, votive candles in the spaces between Chinese cartons, and nearly everyone in casual wear lounging on the deck chairs. 

“Smithsonian?” Wilson repeated, a slow smile crossing his face. “You mean that Cap thing is your doing?” 

“That's all Howard's,” Tony denied, stilling as he realized there was no way off this deck without calling back the armor. “I had nothing to do with it.” 

“That would be me,” Pepper said, slipping to her feet and over to Tony. She stopped by the Spiderkid long enough to tap the shield and pat his cheek. “Someone had a fit after he found all of Howard Stark's Captain America collection when we were renovating the Mansion to donate to the Maria Stark Foundation. Something about how you couldn't stand letting the one thing your father cared about more than himself to sit hidden in the dark.” 

Tony felt a blush on the back of his neck, as well as his hackles rising. 

Pepper wasn't pulling her punches. She must actually be pissed.

“So I'm called up in the middle of the night to find some national foundation who would treat it like the treasure it was. We gave Shield all of your personal effects Howard had kept over the year,” she said, looking over her should to address Cap. “They bitched about not getting the shield, after one of the letters mentioned a prototype. Where did you tell them to stick it, Tony?” 

“Up their greedy asses,” Tony said with a sigh. 

Most of the others were laughing, but Tony couldn't look to see if Cap was. 

“Needed something from a happier childhood to hold onto,” Pepper said. 

“It was just a shield,” Tony said, “C'mon kid. I'll find something you can put that in. Can't go swinging back to Queens with that on your back like it is.” 

“Maybe next time you tell me when you leave,” Pepper said, careful not to grab him, but not giving any ground either. “I don't like it when JARVIS initiates blackout and I find IronDonuts trending on twitter. Hope they were good.” 

Tony hunched his shoulders, grabbing Spiderkid to act a his own shield to navigate the deck. 

“Come on back soon, Tony. You'll miss the stories I have about you at MIT. Without Rhodey here to protect your fragile ego,” Pepper said with a laugh. 

She was really pissed. 

And probably a little drunk. 

He was fucking this up everywhere. 

Goddamn Cap Porn. 

She didn't get to keep that promise, despite how eager the others were to know. Tony came back and plied her with martinis with extra, extra olives until she forgot she was pissed with him. She commandeered him to walk her back to her floor several hours later, leaning on his shoulder and apologizing for the teasing. 

“I just think you deserve someone amazing. You don't have to be alone,” she said, whispering it into his neck as he helped her to her bedroom. 

“There we go, Pep.” Tony helped her settle, dropping to his knees by the bed to take her foot in hand. He eased off her scary shoes and gently rubbed her feet. “You're gonna regret this in the morning.” 

“Never regret having time with you,” she muttered, humming as he increased the pressure on the arch of her foot. “You're gonna make someone so happy, Tony.” 

“That'll be all, Ms. Potts,” he said, rocking back on his heels and standing up. 

“No,” she slurred, drawing out the word into a whine. “Unhook my bra and get me a glass of water for the morning, okay?” 

Tony smiled and did as she asked, brushing her hair aside and kissing behind her ear. 

She was sleeping when he got back to her room with the glass of water. He left it on the nightstand with her preferred aspirin and made sure her phone was charging next to it. 

“Blackout over, JARVIS,” Tony said when he was in the elevator. “Anyone else needing walked to their rooms?” 

“Captain Rogers and Dr. Banner are cleaning the viewing deck. Everyone else has returned to their quarters for the evening,” JARVIS said, “Welcome back, sir.” 

“Thanks, JARVIS.” Tony leaned against the elevator wall. “Didn't mean to be a dick earlier.” 

“Understood, sir. I did not mean to imply anything other than an amicable meeting and possible friendship,” JARVIS said. 

“I know. I was being a dick.” Tony pressed his forehead against the shiny wall and left a smudge as he drew back. “They need any help cleaning up?” 

“I am sure it would be appreciated, whether or not it was needed, sir.” 

“Penthouse floor, then, JARVIS.” 

Bruce and Cap were carrying plates and glasses to the kitchen, and Tony ignored them as he gathered up the empty cartons and disposable utensils. 

“Thanks, Tony,” Bruce said, “Sorry we missed you earlier. JARVIS said you were taking a break.” 

“It's fine.” He watched Cap from the corner of his eye, but the man wasn't even looking in his direction. “I think getting out helped clear my head.” 

“Rhodey couldn't make it?” Bruce asked. 

“Nah. I'll get him some other time,” Tony said, dropping the cartons in the trash. “Sorry. Again.” 

“Did... Did you want to go tomorrow to that Cambodian place?” Cap asked. 

Tony stopped, and he looked at Bruce but he was pointedly looking away. Cap was looking over at him with a very slight smile. 

“You haven't gone?” he asked. 

“I didn't want to go without you,” Cap said. 

Tony didn't know what to do with that. 

“I... I've got plans,” he said, having nothing of the sort. 

He could actually watch the disappointment settle on Cap's shoulders. He felt like absolute shit. 

“Some other time, then,” Cap said. “Night, everyone.” 

Tony watched him leave and could feel the look Bruce was giving him, pointed and disapproving. 

“Whatever you've got going on needs to get resolved fast. It's harmless aside from some bruised feelings now, but it's going to fuck up the team if you let this go on.” 

“I have no idea what you're talking about.” 

“Sure, Tony.” Bruce sighed. “Just work through it and talk to him. Not telling you how to live your life or anything.” 

Bruce was a good friend. 

Christ. 

“I'll figure it out,” he said, “And I'll apologize.” 

“Okay,” Bruce agreed, like it really would be that easy. 

They expected too much from him. It really wasn't going to be that easy. 

Tony stood in the kitchen, dishwasher full of dirty dishes, sink empty, and a row a tumblers on the counter, spotless and shiny. 

When “Debriefing” appeared, he'd long given up the pretense of drinking from glasses like civilized man. He'd unearthed one of the decanters of bourbon older than Cap and locked himself down in his lab to drink it. 

He definitely had a problem. 

“Debriefing” had also given up all pretense. 

This was a professional camera, mounted so the man sitting at the stainless steel table was visible from the chest down. 

That was definitely a Shield uniform. 

That was a Shield table. 

The goddamn paperwork clearly visible over the man's shoulder looked official. 

Cap's arm appeared in the shot, gripping the back of the chair, then the man himself was coming around the side of the chair. Cap was also visible from the chest down, letting the camera get a good shot of the white star on his chest. He pushed his way between the man and the table, bodily moving the man back to make space. 

He planted a hand on either arm of the chair, leaning in, but there was no shot of their kiss. There was a shot of the sensual slide down to the floor to kneel between the man's legs. 

The camera was on a motorized tripod or mount of some kind because it moved as Cap did, coming up as Cap went down. There was a small chance that there was a third person involved, operating the camera, but it was very small. 

What were the odds that Cap had Wilson running a camera for his porn? 

No way. 

None. 

But- 

The camera positioned itself so it framed Cap sitting pretty with the cowl on between the dark uniform pants on a Shield agent. The cowl stayed on, and Tony watched the back of his head as he bent forward to work open the man's pants. The move made it incredibly easy to read the documents on the table just above Cap's left shoulder. 

Shield Requisition Form 616-EA.

He stopped it. 

This was Shield. That had to be Cap. 

He needed to bring in bigger guns. 

“JARVIS, send an alert to Barton, Romanoff, Bruce, and Thor. Discreet. Pepper and Rhodey too. Emergency meeting in my lab. No Cap. No Wilson. No Spider-Man.” Tony hovered a hand over the screen, Cap's cowl hiding his face. “As soon as everyone can coordinate.” 

“Finally,” Pepper said, leading Rhodey and Natasha into his lab. “Normally the person getting the intervention isn't the one calling it, you know.” 

“Not my intervention,” Tony said. He rocked on his heels, fidgeting with a screwdriver in one hand and nervously tapping at the arc reactor with his other hand. 

“Gonna be,” Rhodey muttered, taking the screwdriver and replacing it with his hand. Tony gripped as tight as he could. “Have you had solid food since I've seen you last?” 

“Chinese last night,” Natasha said, taking the decanter of bourbon off the workbench and giving him an arch look. 

“Did you actually have any?” Rhodey asked. 

“Yes, mom,” Tony said, rolling his eyes and swatting at Rhodey. “You all know I've been taking care of myself long enough, right?” 

“Define taking care,” Pepper muttered, stealing the decanter from Natasha and heading back to where Tony kept his smoothie cups. Dummy perked up at her approach, wriggling around the counter in front of the blender. “Sorry, Dummy, but I don't need a smoothie.” 

“Uh. Are we going to hear some kind of announcement?” Barton asked, stopping in the doorway of the lab. He was staring at Tony and Rhodey, giving Natasha a significant look. 

What was with these spy types and meaningful looks? Wasn't it all supposed to be uber-covert? 

“Yes, so get your ass in here.” Tony waved him in, smiling as Bruce and Thor came in only moments later. “Okay, people, let's get started.” 

“Without everyone else?” Barton asked. “No Steve?” 

“The person you have the intervention for isn't brought in until you have a plan,” Tony said, dropping Rhodey's hand to stand in the center of the lab. Rhodey grabbed a stool and sat behind him. Pepper seated herself on the counter by the blender. Bruce took his usual stool by the West wall. Thor, Barton, and Natasha were less familiar with his lab. 

“An intervention for Steve?” Natasha repeated. 

“What would we need to intervene in?” Thor asked, crossing his arms and leaning a hip against a work bench. He had on the Jane-Foster's-Ex's-Jeans. Did those things just walk around on their own? 

He was getting distracted.

He needed to rip off the band-aid. 

“So Cap's making porn and we need to do something,” he said, and it felt like a weight lifted off his shoulders. 

Silence. 

Then laughter. 

“What?” Natasha asked, eyes darting to Pepper and face growing more serious as she realized Pepper wasn't laughing. 

“Seriously? Stark, the fuck?” Barton laughed, jumping up to sit on the work bench by Thor's hip.

“Tony,” Bruce sighed. 

“I am not joking,” Tony said, waving a hand and pulling up “Debriefing” and the frozen frame of Cap on his knees between the Shield agent's legs. “Run it, JARVIS.” 

Cap undid the man's belt and then leaned in to pull down the zipper with his teeth. He coaxed a hard dick out of the opening, tilting his face up so the moment he lifted his face the cockhead landed square in his open mouth. 

“Shit!” 

“Tony!” 

“What the fuck, man?!” 

“JARVIS, stop. Are we getting that I'm not joking?” Tony crossed his arms. “If you kindly look closer, you'll see Shield Requisition-” 

“Form 616-EA,” Barton muttered, eyes on the screen and a sour look on his face. “Oh god, Coulson's going to have a heart attack.” 

“Is this what's been driving you off? You've acted like an ass because you think Steve is making porn?” Natasha asked. 

“Do you not see how this is a problem? How does anyone take you seriously when they've seen a dick in your mouth?” Tony waved his arm at the screen. 

“Somehow they take you seriously,” Rhodey said. 

“That's not helping,” Tony shot back. “Problem: Cap feels like he needs to make porn for reasons unknown. Solution, people. I'm looking for a solution.” 

“I do not understand. How is this a problem?” Thor was giving the screen a considering look. 

Tony could not believe this. 

“Thor. National Icon is making porn in Shield facilities and putting it on the internet. This is a problem. For security reasons.” 

“Don't even play that card, Tony. This isn't security concerns. You showed me that first video and there was literally no way to see who his partner was or where the hell they were at the time.” Pepper met his hard look with one of her own. “Now, it's just a little more possible that Steve is making the porn himself.” 

“And you're angry and jealous.” 

Tony jerked his glare to Bruce, but the man just looked concerned. 

“How is this now about me?” 

“Have you talked to Steve at all about this?” Barton asked. 

“Of course not! How the hell do you do that?” Tony had clearly chosen the wrong venue for this. It was like he was getting attacked from all sides. 

“Like this,” Barton said, grabbing his phone. “Hey, Steve, Tony wants to know why you're making porn.” 

Tony stared, heart starting to race. He grabbed at the arc reactor out of reflex, flinching when Rhodey's hand came up to his shoulder. 

“Tony, hey.” 

“Clint!” Bruce snapped, striding over and grabbing the phone from his hand. “Tony, it's fine. He didn't call anyone.” 

“I think our problem is a bit more serious than it sounds,” Thor said, cuffing Barton over the head lightly. “We aren't jesting about this now.” 

“This is ridiculous. All I want is a little help figuring out how to break it to Cap that we know about his secret porn, okay? And to get him to stop doing it in Shield.” Tony forced his hand away from his chest, and he realized that Natasha was being too quiet. 

She had the website pulled up on a separate screen, holographic screen hovering at her side. 

“I can't actually tell if this is Steve,” she said, sounding out each word slowly. 

“What? He's really making porn?” Barton leaned passed Thor to look over at her. 

“If it's not Steve, we have other concerns. Like the strangest Skrull invasion tactic I've ever heard of,” she said. “Whoever this is has access to us, our gear, our facilities. This looks like the Raft.” 

“What?” Tony went up to her side, staring at one of the screens. It looked like a generic cell to him. 

“The spacing of the bars, the material. It looks like the Raft,” she glanced over at him. “How long ago did you find this?” 

“Does it matter? The oldest video is dated before the Battle of New York. Did you let Cap out at all before you dumped him into that mess?” 

“He was out of the ice well before then,” Barton agreed, landing on the floor and walking over to hover at Natasha's shoulder. “Yeah, that looks like the Raft. Are there others?” 

“So many, oh my god,” Tony muttered, feeling both vindicated because the spy twins didn't know about the porn and they couldn't tell if it was Cap or not and also feeling a lot of fucking anxiety because they didn't know. 

It was now a genuine mess. 

“That's your Fridge facility. “ Thor said, leaning over Tony's shoulder to look at the next video Natasha had up. “I remember the bland décor.” 

“I think I saw a Stark Tower elevator one somewhere in there,” Pepper said. 

“Did you start watching them?” Tony demanded, “Pep, what the hell?” 

“You really should have went on one of those dates,” she said, completely out of nowhere. “I don't know how he got in some of those places, but I don't think it's Steve.” 

“This is pretty convincing,” Bruce said, sandwiching Tony between himself and Thor to look at the screen. It was “Alleyway Pounding” and everyone watched the screen for a moment. “Yeah, that's pretty good likeness.” 

“You can't really see anything,” Barton complained, leaning over to poke at another video on the screen. “See? Even in this one, he's got the cowl on.” 

“I'm with Pepper. I don't think it's Steve,” Rhodey said. 

“And your proof? Why?” Tony demanded. 

“Meet Jake Jensen. Newest member of Avenger Security and Head of Operational Security,” Pepper said, pulling up an employee file with a wave of her hand. 

Tony stared. 

The rest of the team stared. 

“Yeah, and your other guy is probably Alvarez,” Rhodey said, pulling up Facebook of all things. It was a photo he'd tagged with himself, several other Air Force officers, and a host of other military men at a Memorial Day party. Jensen, looking freakishly like Cap, had an arm over the shoulders of a dark haired man in a cowboy hat, both almost out of the frame entirely.

“Carlos Alvarez,” Natasha said, eyes drifting to the middle ground, her mind obviously working hard to pull up information. “Remember that mission we had in the Philippines with the modified Chitauri tech? They were part of the team we extracted.” 

“No,” Tony muttered, leaning up to look at Rhodey's photo. “I would have remembered a guy who looked like Cap.” 

“He'd been knocked unconscious and the sniper, Alvarez, wasn't letting anyone else take care of him. We didn't really stick around after we'd wiped the base, either.” 

“I don't remember that,” Tony said. 

“When was the last time you slept?” Pepper asked. 

“More than four hours,” Bruce added. 

“I have no idea,” Tony said, “Why does that matter?” 

“Cause whether you're a genius or not, lack of REM sleep can cause serious health concerns,” Bruce said, “And I don't think it'll be fair to let this happen.” 

“What happen?” 

“Thanks for the help, JARVIS,” Wilson said, opening the lab door and dragging Steve in by the arm. “I think it's time we clear the air.” 

“JARVIS!” 

“That'll be all, JARVIS. Thank you,” Pepper said, hopping off the counter and dragging Rhodey out the door. 

He had really pissed her off. 

“It'll be fine,” Natasha said, touching his forearm briefly and pressing her other hand to the back of Barton's head. “Out, boys.” 

Thor patted his shoulder. 

Bruce smiled tightly, hunching his shoulders slightly and following Thor to the door. He touched Cap's shoulder and leaned in, whispering something, and left. 

Wilson clapped Cap's back and left. 

Tony couldn't take his eyes off Cap, even as Cap turned to look at the screen Natasha left up. He paled a little and then flushed. 

“Hey, Cap.” 

“Tony.” Cap fell into parade-rest, before shaking himself and closing the distance between them. “Wanna fill me in?” 

“This is gonna sound really stupid and shallow. And I am the worst friend,” Tony said, reaching up to rub a hand over his face and to the back of his neck. “So, I started helping our PR people look for things on the internet that could come back to bite us if we let it go on without context. Weird shit, bad decisions, immortalized forever on the internet. And I found porn.” 

“Of us?” Cap asked, and then he winced. “The Avengers, I mean.” 

“Yeah. But what I found was you,” Tony said, waving a hand at the screen. It obligingly started to play. 

“Stop,” Cap snapped, eyes wide at the video of himself blowing a man. “Tony?” 

“I thought you were making porn. I didn't want to talk to you about it,” Tony admitted, closing his eyes. “It's been driving me crazy because I wanted to say something, but then I would have admitted I was watching it. A lot.” 

“This whole time”? Cap asked, not looking at Tony. “You've been watching what you thought was me having sex this whole time?” 

“Yes,” Tony said, drawing out the word and reaching for a stool without looking. He slumped into it, resting his elbow on the work bench and pressing his face into his crossed arms. “I couldn't spend time with you when I thought you were sucking dick online for strangers.” 

“You have problems with porn? Tony, you've been in porn,” Cap said. 

Tony flinched and groaned into his arms. 

“I know I'm a hypocrite here, Cap. I should have told you about it right away, but then-” 

Cap had pulled a stool up next to his, close enough that their shoulders pressed together. Tony winced away from the contact, but Cap leaned into him. 

“But?” he prompted. 

“I really didn't want to talk to you about it.” 

“Any reason why?” 

“Can't we just leave it at that? Please?” 

“I would, but you've been watching me suck dick online for strangers and I think we do have to talk about it,” Cap dropped an arm over his shoulders. 

It should have felt like a trap, but he felt greedy for the contact. He couldn't stop himself from tipping into it. 

He'd always been very tactile with people he liked. 

“You know, this whole time, I really thought you were thinking of quitting the Avengers. Quitting and going off on your own again, or just focusing on Stark Industries, or trying to figure out how to politely kick us out of your Tower,” Cap said, “But the worst were the thoughts that you'd picked up on what I was trying to do and instead were trying to tell us you and Rhodes were together.” 

Tony pushed himself upright and turned to stare at Cap. 

“I don't even know where to start with that,” he said, “I'm an Avenger. I'm always going to be an Avenger. I fought so Fury would put me on this team despite how much they hate everything I am. I couldn't do anything else even if I wanted to. I'd always find a way to be an Avenger.” 

“Shield doesn't hate you. Greatly dislike and treat with the well-deserved wariness you would a faulty canister of mustard gas. I didn't know why else you were pulling away from the team.” 

Tony turned on the stool so he could face Cap better. 

“I have issues on my issues. There's volumes and appendices. There's an introduction by Fury and foreword by Coulson. I have so many, many problems. I didn't realize you were going to be one of them. Not like that.” 

“Like how, Tony?” 

“I've thought about you like that since I was thirteen. You were the golden standard of men. Of course I thought about you like that. And then when I got to know you, you hit all my buttons and I wanted to shut you up and make you scream and just-” Tony breathed out a heavy, exasperated sound. “Turns out I like you a hell of a lot. And it bothered me when I thought about you making porn with strangers for other people to watch.” 

“That's a lot, Tony,” Cap said, tightening his arm over Tony's shoulders. 

“Why were you thinking I was with Rhodey? I mean, he's the best person in the entire world, sorry about second place there, but whatever was gonna happen between us would have happened after Afghanistan. He's been there for me since MIT. Closer than brothers. We're t'hy'la,” Tony said, smiling a little. “Star Trek, if that hadn't made it on the list.” 

“Mostly it was Clint's fault. If we're laying blame. He kept giving me these ideas, and then you would show up barely dressed in his clothes, or drop plans for the team to be with Rhodes, or tell us all stories about you and Rhodes doing things together. It's mostly Clint's fault,” Cap stressed, smiling a little, “But I guess I was jealous.” 

“I know I was. It was bad when I thought you were with a random Shield agent. Then I thought that was why you were chasing after Barnes. And then I let myself get really stupid.” 

“Bucky?” Cap asked, and then he was smiling slightly, too. “I think Bucky's my Rhodes, Tony. That's why I want him back.” 

“What were you trying to do?” Tony asked, after letting the quiet sit between them while they both thought over what had been said. 

“Trying to figure out how to turn all those dinners and lunches into dates. Getting you to finally look me in the eye. Taking my chance with you while I still had one.” Cap pulled Tony in closer. “Getting you to use my goddamned name instead of a thousand different nicknames. Or Cap.” 

“Steve-” Tony bit his lip, dropping his eyes from Cap's to the work bench. “You just had to say the word and I woulda jumped on you.” 

“You deserve a little romance,” Steve said, hooking his hand on Tony's neck and drawing him in. 

Tony kept his eyes wide open as Steve leaned in and kissed him, chaste and sweet. 

He blinked open his own eyes when he drew back, smiling at Tony's still face. 

“We'll work up to the porn.”


	2. Chapter Two

INTERLUDE

 

Tony had grown up on stories of Captain America. 

Two of his first ten words had been Captain America. 

He'd had Jarvis put up a poster on the back of his bedroom door and they'd listened to those old broadcasts and radio dramas as bedtime stories. 

Captain America was the one thing that could hold Howard's attention. Of course Tony was going to like Captain America just for that reason alone.

He played Commandos with Jarvis, pretended to be the inventor they needed to defeat Hydra. He'd had fantasies that Captain America would need him and thank him and everything would have depended on Tony coming up with a way to save Cap and the Commandos. 

He'd loved Captain America. 

Until Howard turned him into a weapon. It was a yardstick that Tony could never measure up against. 

It was a slow transition, because Tony saw his father less and less over time, boarding school in Exeter then MIT. He'd started to notice boys as well as girls, and there was no hiding that Cap was the perfect man. He'd started dreaming that Cap would thank him with a kiss. 

It turned more into hate-fucking Cap when Tony started to hate Howard. 

The Captain America comics made their way into his porn stash, the pages of Cap tied up hostage by Hydra grunts until the Commandos could burst in and they'd fight their way out of a secret base, those pages were dog-eared for future viewing. 

Cap became a nostalgic wank after Howard's death, and he really only thought about it off and on through the years. Captain America was Howard's obsession, not Tony's, so it was only a few times a year that Tony would have a dream about Cap on his knees and praising how brave and amazing Tony was as he sucked his dick. 

Cap started appearing more and more as he got to know the man. It was still hate-fucking for the most part, considering how much they disliked each other after that first blow-out meeting. As he got to know Cap, it started to be more loving and secret and tender. 

The Cap porn nearly ruined that. 

“I've wanted you for a really long time,” Tony whispered. 

Steve was spread out on the bed next to him, naked under the thin sheets. He was laid out on his back, one arm wrapped around Tony at the waist and the other bent to support his head. He still had a light glisten of sweat over his bare chest, and the fingers at Tony's hip were slick with lube. 

The lights were out in the room, so the only glow was from the arc reactor, but it cast everything in a pretty light blue. 

Tony finger-walked his hand up Steve's chest, between the valley of his pecs, over the prominent arch of his Adam's apple, and up to the bow of his lips. He traced them, where they should have been flushed and swollen, but the serum was fast-acting and they'd already returned to normal. 

When Tony shifted up on his elbow, Steve's arm tightened over his waist, fingers digging into his hip. 

“I really thought I'd never get this with you. You were always just out of reach. Who'd have thought you'd be here now?” 

Steve continued to sleep, and Tony felt it was a little unfair. Of the two of them, only one should be young enough to go again right away. Figured that Tony would be the one awake. He ached pleasantly, everything from his ass to his shoulders to his scalp tingling a little in the aftermath. 

The fact that he'd put Steve to sleep should speak to Tony's experience, but mostly it was just nice to have a quiet moment to watch the man sleep. 

He knew a lot about Steve, he realized. 

He knew even more after last night. 

Like the fact that Steve actually liked him. 

Tony slid his hand down and over to Steve's shoulder, which was a nice stretch even with Tony's reach. He had such broad shoulders. Tony circled where he knew he'd left a deep bite before but the serum had taken care of that, too. He moved slowly, slipping a leg over Steve's waist, and planted his other hand on Steve's shoulder. 

Steve's arm traveled with him, following Tony's movement and stopping with his hand on Tony's thigh. 

Moving onto Steve's lap also moved the light and now it made Steve's pale skin glow. Tony smiled, shifting higher up Steve's lap so his cock was settled against Tony's ass. He let his weight move to one arm and brought the other to the hand on his hip. He laced their fingers together and raised it to his lips. 

“Steve?” Tony whispered, “C'mon, old man, I've got six different fantasies that start just like this one.” 

Steve stayed sleeping, but Tony was undeterred. He let his weight drop to Steve's lap and gently coaxed Steve's other hand out from behind his head. He laced those fingers together too, sitting with both hand entangled and smiling like an idiot at Steve's sleeping face. 

This was the sappiest thing he'd ever done in his entire romantic history. 

He'd rather do this until the end of time with Steve than have another kinky porn session with another person ever. 

“Steve.” 

He really wasn't going to wake up like this. 

Tony brought both hands up to his mouth, careful to only kiss the back of his hands. 

“Steve.” 

He rocked his hips in a slow circle, feeling Steve start to harden again. 

At least the porn hadn't misled him about the size of Steve's cock. 

That was going to feel very, very good. 

“Steve.” 

Tony leaned forward, flexing himself up, and kissed Steve's throat. He used their joined hands to keep his balance, bringing them forward so Steve's arms were pinned near his head, and he trailed kisses up his throat, across the apples of his cheeks, over each closed eye, on his forehead. 

He just breathed against Steve's lips, brushing his nose against Steve's nose. 

“Steve.” 

Steve sighed, blearily blinking open his eyes and groaning. 

“Tony. I am actually going to die of dehydration if we keep going.” 

“No one likes a quitter, Steve.” Tony didn't move back, letting Steve's lips move against his own. “You can jut lay back and let me do all the work.” 

“How can you possibly be ready to go again?” Steve's fingers tightened in his, but he didn't move his hands away. 

“Turns out when you get something you really, really want and never thought you'd get, it's hard to let the excitement die.” Tony licked Steve's lips, slipping his tongue into Steve's mouth when he opened it. 

Kissing Steve felt so nice, so much nicer than not kissing Steve. 

“You old romantic,” Steve whispered, “Would be nice to have a turn on my back. Who knew you were so demanding? I may have to rethink this entire thing.” 

“Too late. No refunds or exchanges.” Tony pulled back, squeezing Steve's hands once to remind him to keep them in place. He untangled their fingers and planted his hands on Steve's abs. Steve kept his hands up, watching Tony in the low light that the arc reactor left in the room. It was nice but- 

“JARVIS, lights at 10 percent,” Tony said, and the lights very slowly rose, enough of a soft glow that it didn't disrupt the mood but let Tony see his full face. 

Steve looked enthralled. Enamored. Entranced. 

He looked like he was in love. 

Tony almost ducked his head to hide from that look. 

“Ride me.” Steve tilted his hips, a little roll that Tony followed without even thinking. “Please.” 

Who could say no to that?

Tony lifted his hips, reached one hand down to help Steve in, and dropped onto Steve's cock until his ass was flush to Steve's groin. 

Steve's jaw clenched tight, the movement rippling across his chest and down his abs as he kept from moving to get deeper. Tony followed the same path with his eyes and fingertips, brushing the calluses of his palms over Steve's sides. 

Steve's breathing shuddered, little gasps escaping his lips. 

“Are you ticklish?” Tony asked, trying to remember if he'd accidentally brushed over Steve's sides before. 

“No,” he said, obviously lying, because he choked back a laugh when Tony moved his palms again.

It did some very interesting things to Steve's hips, too. 

“Do not,” Steve started, but way, way too late. 

Tony moved over those ticklish soft spots, following the bucking of Steve's hips as he tried to wriggle out of reach but keep his arms up. Tony laughed, more when Steve bit back another gasp. 

“I can't believe you're ticklish,” Tony said, slowing so his movements were more caressing and started to ride Steve's cock in earnest. “How did I not know this before?” 

“Because it was never relevant before,” Steve said, still breathing a little heavier. “There's a lot more laughing going on than I thought there'd be.” 

“I like my partners to have fun,” Tony said, “How'd you picture it? Like this?” 

Tony reached back to Steve's knees, arching his back and letting his head fall backwards with a deep groan. He pumped his hips furiously from that position, timing each downward stroke with Steve's name and a moan. He tilted his head to the side to watch Steve's face, panting open-mouthed as he started to feel the burn in his thighs. 

“How about like this?”

Tony straightened up enough to put his weight on one arm, bringing his other hand up to jerk his cock. He let it slide wetly in his palm, not trying to actually get a lot of friction, more like a tease. It was more so he could hear the sloppy sounds of flesh sliding together. 

He had been half-hard when he'd sat on Steve's cock, and he was steadily working his way up to full hardness. He watched Steve's eyes on his cock, Tony's hand, the brief glimpse between their bodies when Tony lifted his hips high enough. 

He couldn't stop smiling. 

“What about this?” 

He switched hands, bracing against Steve's abs again and using his precum slick palm to fondle Steve's balls and the base of his cock. 

“Fuck, Tony, goddamn-” Steve trailed off, moaning deep in his throat as Tony teased his hand lower, stretching a little to rub two slick fingers against Steve's hole. 

“I'm gonna fuck you. I don't care when or where, either. Sometime, I'm gonna tease you open with my tongue and fingers and keep you that way for hours and hours. Maybe work on something while you ride my hand and beg for my dick.” Tony hitched his hips faster. Between the monster cock buried in his ass and how Steve looked like an offering to a pagan god, draped on an alter of Merino wool, it was going to be a race to see who got to the end first. “I'm gonna keep you open and wet and ready for me. And you won't get to cum.” 

Steve moaned again, trying for Tony's name he was guessing, but it cut off as Tony penetrated him with a finger. He kept it to shallow thrusts, but his focus was mostly on how Steve tilted back his throat and looked like he was staring at god. 

“You won't get to cum until I'm riding your cock. You'll beg and beg and beg, and you'll get to cum when I say,” Tony said, emphasizing each word with a hard thrust down with his hips and in with his finger. He was starting to cramp at the shoulder and his thighs were actually numb, but it was all so worth it. “Not a second before I say so, Steve.” 

“Yes! Tony, let me cum! Please, please, please-” Steve almost yelled as Tony added another finger and bounced faster on his cock. 

“Cum, Steve,” Tony whispered, thrusting in his two fingers and massaging his thumb against Steve's sack. 

Steve's hips jolted up of their own accord, but Tony had been following this body in action for so long he read it and moved as Steve did, milking Steve's release. His own was powerful, mostly from having Steve's cock stimulate his prostate near continuously, and his own release puddled over Steve's abs. 

Steve came in his ass, hands clenched into fists near his head and legs shaking as he tried his best not to throw Tony off. 

He pulled his fingers out slowly, careful not to overstimulate Steve's sensitive body, and lifted his hips until he felt Steve fall out. Cum trailed out after him, dripping a little on Tony's inner thigh. 

He'd never done bareback before, god this was going to be a messy clean up, but it was completely worth it. Steve looked like he'd been flattened. 

Extremely gratifying to his ego. 

There was no chance he'd make it to his en suite without looking like a newborn deer, though. 

He'd worry about that in a second. 

He moved up Steve's body, grabbing his hands and planting them on his hips. Steve held him, practically supporting his weight without any effort just like that. 

“How'd that work out for you? I think I've got a comment card in here somewhere. Like a compliments to the chef kinda thing.” Tony smiled at Steve, pressing his forehead to Steve's. “You in there, soldier?” 

“If we'd have done that on the helicarrier instead of bitching at each other, we'd have been much, much better off,” Steve said, grinning a little as he got his breath back. 

“Of course we would have,” Tony agreed, unable to stop himself from taking sipping little kisses from Steve's mouth. 

It was right there. 

How could he be blamed for that?

“I don't think I can walk,” Steve said. 

“You? You should come with a warning label or something. If that's not at least nine inches, I'm not an engineer. I can't walk,” Tony said, a little incredulous and moved a little to get another look at the cock that had just been in his ass. Steve's hands tightened on his hips to stop him. “I just did all the work, by the way; I think you can manage ten steps to the bathroom.” 

“You're gonna be the best thing that's ever happened to me,” Steve murmured. 

Tony was absolutely sure he felt his heart stutter. 

“You already are.”


	3. Chapter Three

6\. “Debriefing” - Error – File Not Found

 

As luck would have it, Fury hadn't known about the porn, either. Tony felt a little proud of himself. He'd managed to find the one thing that he was sure Fury never would have found without him. Sure, maybe some Shield agents may have found it eventually, or had already found it but kept their mouth shut, but it was nice to get one over on Fury. 

“Get both of them here in the hour, Stark.” 

Tony smiled to himself, pleased that someone else was in Fury's warpath. 

It was nice not to be the guy in the line of fire, for once. 

“JARVIS, send Happy and team up for Mr. Jensen. And send an alert to Alvarez through Shield to meet at Interrogation Room 4.” 

“Yes, sir,” JARVIS said, and boy did he not sound happy about that.

“Your new friend'll be fine,” Tony said, rolling his eyes. “We just wanna scare him a little. No more Cap porn.” 

“If you say so, sir.”

“C'mon, Cap. We've got somewhere to be,” Tony said, marching into the living room and clapping his hands. 

Steve looked up at him from the couch, half a smile on his face. Barton made a retching noise. Wilson smacked the back of his head. 

“Fury wants to meet us at the Triskelion, so hop to, soldier-boy,” Tony said, waving an imperious hand at the door to the viewing deck. 

“God I miss when you were both too dysfunctional to be in the same room. Now it's like happy families and the parents want some alone time,” Barton muttered, wrinkling his nose like Tony had never seen outside cartoons and WASPs. 

“We are not the parents in this outfit,” Tony protested. 

“We're at least babysitters,” Steve said, “Though Fury and Coulson don't pay us enough to watch their kids.” 

“Hardly anything's changed,” Wilson pointed out, “All I still ever hear about is how dreamy Tony's eyes are.” 

“Awwww.” Tony grinned at Steve's light blush. “Wanna see these dreamy eyes up close and personal?” 

“How did you ever get laid, Stark? I've heard better game in the circus circuit,” Barton said, leaning over the back of the couch to glare at him. 

“Steve's easy,” Tony said, winking and holding back laughter as Barton rolled his eyes. 

“For you,” Steve added, “Only this easy for you. Try any harder and you'll break what's left of your brain.” 

“I've got like, seven doctorates. You can fuck a few outta me and I'll still be a genius,” Tony said. 

“Your doctorate panels must've hated you,” Wilson said, pushing Clint over the couch to get comfortable in the space Steve left behind to join Tony. 

“So many frustrated screams. Just pick one and stick with it! Stop getting distracted!” Tony grabbed Steve's hand as soon as he was in reach. “One of the guys on the panel for my electrical engineering doctorate had the babyiest blue eyes, so that helped.” 

“Fury?” Steve prompted. 

“I wanna try out the nanotech armor. Haven't thought of a name for it yet,” Tony said, immediately switching to focus on Steve alone. 

“Let's go, then,” Steve said, leading him out to the viewing deck. 

The armor flowed beautifully, spreading from the arc reactor and over his body. He opened the face plate to wriggle his eyebrows at Steve. 

“What do you think?” 

“Still waiting on my flying car to be impressed, Tony,” Steve said, taking his offered hand and climbing onto the jet boot. Tony wrapped an arm around Steve. 

“Any reason you were already suited up?” he asked as they made their way to the off-island base Shield had set up in Metroland. 

“Planned to meet up with Natasha to scout out emerging talent in Sokovia. Some one or group is taking out little pockets of Hydra factions in the Eastern European region. Closest we could get narrowed down was Sokovia.” 

“Huh.” Tony switched to the inner comms only. “JARVIS, take a look into that and see what you can find.” 

“Any reason Fury is calling us out, now?” 

“Apparently, the spy twins told Fury about the porn. So now he wants to scare a little Fury into them.” 

“That sounded hideously inappropriate.” 

“Eh. We're basically going to get them to stop misusing Shield resources for porn. And because they used your patriotic mug, we've gotta get momma bear involved.” 

“This is ridiculous.” 

“No worse than those USO shows. Just give them that – Cap is very disappointed in you, your choices, your clothes, your general you-ness – give'em that face.” 

Of course, by the time Happy and team had deposited Jensen and Alvarez had arrived, Tony's good mood had already been ruined by the little glances and glares Fury kept giving him. 

Like this mess was Tony's fault. 

Tony never told anyone to make Cap porn. 

How was this his fault?

Once everyone was in the room and he had the video on, what he'd started was basically giving Fury a show on just what fraternizing Tony and Steve got up to. 

Steve kept his poker face, his on-mission face, but Tony went on-mission in a suit. He wasn't so used to hiding his expressions on-mission anymore. He was sure he looked a little manic. 

He let “Debriefing” project on the wall behind him, trying not to take too good a look at Jensen or Fury. 

“I mean, you've been at this for how long and you still can't quite relax your throat? I'm sure you're going for accuracy, what with Cap here likely to have never taken a dick like that down his throat even once in his life, but this is fucking 12 videos down this rabbit hole. It's kinda sloppy writing, you know, if porn had narrative.” 

Steve breathed out hard, through his nose, just as Jensen did on the screen. It was like hearing it in stereo. Steve was swallowing back a laugh because he had had a dick like that down his throat not even ten hours ago. Jensen swallowed down dick on screen. 

“Seems like he's learned just fine,” Fury said, “What I'm more concerned about is right now.” 

Tony didn't have to look to know the camera was moving back to see the paperwork on the table. He hadn't watched it enough to have it memorized by sound or anything. That would have been wrong. 

“Granted, I don't think much can be pulled off requisition forms, but that's our seal in the corner and eventually, you hit a point of outright infringement. Like now.” Fury gestures to the screen where Jensen continued to suck dick and banter about paperwork and heavy artillery. 

Tony kept his eyes away from Steve, who he knew would be laughing at him with his eyes.

Tony had laughed like he was dying when they'd made it to that part. 

“Yeah, I had no idea that Requisition Form 616-EA could get anyone hot under the collar, but there we are. In the land of freaks and degenerates like Hawkeye. Congrats boys.” Tony Stark flailed a hand at the screen. “You have found the niche corner of the market I never even knew existed and I have seen AIM/Hydra porn.” 

It had been the most unfortunate find to date. But apparently, someone out there somewhere was getting off on it. Probably Nazis. 

Steve twitched in his seat, and it probably never even occurred to him that if Avengers porn existed, there would also be Avenger's Villains porn. Hydra was the biggest target and easiest to impersonate in their Rogue's Gallery, of course someone would make Hydra porn. 

“Did you-” 

“No Captain America/Red Skull or any Hydra variation there-of exists, Cap. I promise you that.” Tony met his eyes and nodded. 

JARVIS was under strict orders to eliminate any such thing that ever did exist, too. Freedom of speech, blah, blah, whatever. Hydra fucking equaled Nazis. No way in hell was Tony gonna let a bunch of Nazis and White supremacists misuse Captain America like that. 

Fucking sue him. 

He'd take them to court and pay whatever he had to pay. There was only good press for shutting down Nazis. 

“It didn't seem respectful to do that,” Jensen said, “Plus, they're fucking Nazis.”

Jensen moaned on screen, drawing him back to what they were doing here in the first place. 

“Right. That's what's disrespectful.” Tony waved a hand to stop the video. He gave Steve a look and then met Fury's eyes. “So. Is it still keelhauling if you're not actually on the ocean? I mean, we could probably find some nice international water to land in if you want to do this thing properly. Secret escort up to the Helicarrier, quick jaunt over the Atlantic, and off you go.” 

“We're not keelhauling anyone.” Fury was such a buzzkill. “Least of all one of your people, Stark. We start throwing civilians overboard the Helicarrier and we'll lose our UN backing so fast he won't even have hit the water first.”

“Well. I mean I can fire him, I guess,” Tony said, keeping his face as serious as he could manage. JARVIS would probably lock him out of his suits if he fired his friend. 

“No one's getting fired,” Steve interrupted, waving a hand at the screen “Was this done with malicious intent? Did you knowingly and with deliberate intent try to destroy my credibility, besmirch my reputation, or otherwise engage in acts to discredit me to the public?” 

“No!” 

“Then I don't care. The only problem here is where you've been doing it.” 

“What?” Tony said, looking at Steve. Way to cut things short. Tony had been all for drawing this out and making the kid suffer. 

“If I'm going to start anywhere, I'd sooner start with all those Hollywood movies they made in the sixties. Sex isn't anything to be ashamed of, and I'm sure I've inked more offensive Tijuana bibles with Captain America.” 

“What?” Tony said, feeling a little on the backfoot. Normally he could keep up with Steve, and that was out of nowhere. And surely Tijuana bibles would have shown up on his searches. 

Surely. 

Who kept Captain America porn inked by The Captain America a secret? 

“I... thought you knew. You knew about this kinda stuff, anyway, so I thought you'd have seen-” Steve shrugged. “Maybe nobody figured they were worth keeping? I kinda hated all the circus performing they had me doing at the start, and well, some of the ladies brought in these comics and then we'd started making fun of it.” 

“You drew Captain America porn and I'm only discovering this now,” Tony said, dropping into the chair he'd been ignoring. His eyes fell on Jensen, just to share this bizarre moment with someone. 

What the hell was going on in the world? 

“So, honestly, the problem here is that you've been in Shield with your equipment.” Steve looked over at Fury. “With Agent Alvarez, I'm assuming you have disciplinary measures in place, but Jensen is essentially a civilian. Firing him isn't an option, Tony. You can't fire people for what they do in their free time.” 

“I guess,” Tony said. Again, JARVIS would definitely lock him out of the suits. “Maybe we'll move you to scrubbing toilets.”

“Tony.” 

“Fine,” Tony Stark huffed, crossing his arms and slumping back against the chair. Steve was going to find those comics. Or make new ones. Maybe ones with Iron Man, too. “This video comes down, though. Shield secrets blah-blah-blah. And you should be fined or something. I really feel like this deserves more than a slap on the wrist.” 

“Maybe if we promise not to do it again?” 

Tony looked at Jensen, taking him in in full for the first time. Cropped blonde hair, cute green tinted glasses with baby blue eyes, bare faced, broad-shouldered, built like a tank, and flushing lightly under the scrutiny. His eyes darted back over to Steve, comparing the two. 

God, that would be a delicious sandwich. 

“No.” Alvarez said, drawing Tony's eyes to him. 

Under the hat, he was a looker, too. Neatly trimmed goatee, pretty brown skin, brown eyes, long hair, deep voice, biceps he could barely close his hand around, lean like a distance runner. 

Maybe a double-decker sandwich. It'd been a really, really, really long time since Tony had been part of a foursome. 

Alvarez dropped a hand over the back of Jensen's neck, possessive and a warning. 

Not to be shared. 

Which. 

Fair enough. 

They were pretty enough, and if he'd found them six to ten years ago, he'd have flirted and charmed his way between them. Not to break them up, but to enjoy a matched set. Wasn't often he got to enjoy two pretty dudes who had no problems enjoying each other. 

Past-Tony had really missed out. 

Tony wasn't missing anything, and he could respect that. 

Didn't mean he couldn't flirt with that. 

“We'll take down this one; refund the people who've paid already. We won't be in any more Shield facilities. I'll accept whatever Director Fury chooses as my punishment. Jake is not scrubbing toilets.” Alvarez squeezed the back of Jensen's neck. “This one's mine.” 

Tony startled, not liking how easily he'd been read, and Steve laughed at him, softly. 

“If we're all caught up, gentlemen,” Fury said, “I believe Agent Alvarez and myself have an appointment. I'm assuming you can see yourself out, Mr. Jensen.” 

Alvarez stood, keeping his hand on Jensen's neck. No doubt who had the power there. Boy, if Tony didn't already know what it was like to boss around a busty blond he'd be jealous. 

“Captain. If you could.” 

“No problem Alvarez.” Steve rounded the table to stand between Tony and Jensen. Tony frowned at his back. 

“Thank you, sir,” Alvarez said, “I'll see you later, Jensen.” 

“Yeah, bye, Cougs,” Jensen said, leaning into the hand as it drew away. Fury led Alvarez out of the room, leaving Tony with Steve and Jensen, and it had only been about half the time Tony had had planned for this venture. 

“Well. I think I need a priest to cleanse the room. Make a note, Cap, Interrogation Room 4 is not to be used in the future for any Avengers related business. Knowing our luck, the walls will start to actually talk and then where will we be?” Tony waved a hand and closed the projection. 

“I think that's not the worst thing this room has ever seen,” Steve said, “And don't even try it, Tony. You heard the man. No.” 

“What? I'm hurt, Cap. Wasn't going to try anything at all,” Tony said, but he pulled back the hand that he'd been reaching out towards Jensen. Well. Alvarez wasn't the only possessive one. “Well, what are we waiting for?” 

“How about you lead and we'll follow?” Steve rested a hand on Jensen's shoulder and gestured to the door. 

Tony rolled his eyes, pulled ruby red sunglasses out of his pocket, and strutted out of the room. He put a little extra sway to his hips, but that was his business. Agents stopped what they were doing to watch him pass. 

It was very, very nice to be in Shield and not be the one getting the Fury-lecture. 

This was probably the shortest he'd ever been in Shield ever before. 

“Don't worry, JARVIS, your friend is no worse for wear,” he said, tapping one of the arms of his sunglasses. 

“I was never concerned in the first place, sir. I believe Mr. Jensen is now too vital to our efforts here in Avengers Security to afford to lose him for any reason. Personal or otherwise,” JARVIS said, sounding prim. 

Tony rolled his eyes, turning to look at Steve over his shoulder, but they were only just now coming up to him. Tony frowned. 

“And JARVIS didn't have anything to say about defacing the elevator?” Steve said, guiding Jensen forward with a hand on his shoulder.

“He kinda likes me? I think. He likes my skills, and he says he's seen way worse in the elevator, anyway. Which. I can totally believe.” 

“Uh, excuse me?”

Jensen froze, paling and flushing at the same time. Exactly like how Steve did when Tony got him just right. 

Jesus. 

“JARVIS? What is this I'm hearing about my damn elevator?”

“Personal lives are not available to public servers, sir. You were very specific about what was not allowed to be stored for future access,” JARVIS said, not sounding repentant in the least. 

“I don't think I like the judgment I'm hearing there, JARVIS.” 

“Have you got a link or something?” Steve asked, like Tony doesn't have that hellsite bookmarked. He made a production of taking out his phone from one of the pouches and scrolling through the internet. “Nevermind. Here it is.” 

“I can't make you pay for it!” Jensen looked like he wasn't sure to be excited or horrified. 

“You won't get far handing out free samples,” Steve started, like getting the videos for free or early or whatever wasn't his sole goal with this routine. 

“If Cap doesn't have to pay, I shouldn't have to either!” Tony objected, because he was already paying for the as released stuff. What the hell was Steve trying to do? “Not that I'm paying to watch more. Definitely. Kinda weird to watch porn with your childhood hero in it, you know. That's why we just had this whole thing. Here.” 

“We had this thing here cause it involved Shield property. Whatever you do in your free time, Tony. Just as long as it doesn't affect your performance.” Steve delivered that with such a straight face Tony could almost hear the Liberty bell ring, eagles scream, and the flag unfurl behind him. 

“Could you teach that? Or did you wake up outta the ice a troll?” Jensen said, looking at Steve with a wondering eye. Most people didn't cotton on to Steve's dog and pony show that fast, but if the kid had been watching them for as long as Tony thought, it wasn't much of a surprise. 

“I think we could exchange a few tips,” Steve said. 

Tony almost swallowed his tongue trying to hold back a scoff, laugh, and groan all at the same time. It didn't sound pretty. 

“I'm sorry for everything I've done right to this moment here. God. Never again will another pop culture reference cross my lips. Never again will I make up blatant lies about how this century works. Never again will I try to crowdfund an effort to move the Dodgers back to Brooklyn with your image. I hope you are making a note of the time and date, Cap, because I am done. I am truly sorry.” Tony pinched the bridge of his nose, looking anywhere but at the two matching blonds in front of him. “Please don't make this a thing.” 

“I think that's outta my hands now, Tony. Since you had to get everyone's personal opinion.”

Tony looked up at the sound Jensen made, looking like he didn't realize he'd made a sound at all. 

That's what Steve had been doing. 

Now Jensen knew Tony showed the entire Avengers team the porn he'd made with his boyfriend while they pretended to be Captain America and a Shield Agent. 

“Please tell me the Avengers didn't watch me give blowies as Captain America.” 

“Shouldn't have been that convincing in the suit,” Steve said, “Everyone has been very impressed.”

“Fuck.” Jensen was obviously trying not to look at Tony accusingly. “Did. Did you really show the Avengers Captain America porn?”

And now Tony was the bad guy. 

What the hell, Steve. 

“Oh goddamn it.” Tony called up the armor, using the watch to monitor the flow. It covered him in record time. He was out of the lobby and on the street. They'd follow in their own time. “Done. Steve, if we're leaving, let's go. Porn-Cap can take a goddamn taxi.”

“That name is not sticking!” Jensen protested, eyes hugging every curve of the armor as he hurried after Tony. 

Now. 

That. That was a lustful look. 

He could practically see the Iron Man/Captain America porn they were certainly going to try to make. 

It was hugely flattering, with the added bonus of having a sex tape out there with Steve and still not actually having to put a video out of Steve. 

Steve was a Tony's eyes only kinda porn. 

“I can actually see the thoughts in you head right now.” Tony didn't lift the face plate. It didn't seem to affect the hungry look in Jensen's eyes at all. “Your guy said no go, so that's a no go on my end, too.” 

“I've fantasized about sucking your dick off an on since about seventeen.” Jensen clamped a hand over his mouth, blood rushing to his face. “I'm so sorry.” 

God that was super flattering. 

Past-Tony really missed out. 

“Tell you what. You work on your guy, I work on mine, maybe you get something that'll break the internet?” Tony leaned in, enough to watch the blood fill his cheeks and his pupils dilate. Jensen swallowed hard, definitely unaware of how much he looked like he wanted worked over and put away wet. “Think about it.” 

“This is exactly the kinda funny business we said no about,” Steve said, sounding a little tense, but mostly amused. 

Like 20-80 amused. 

He stepped between them, one hand going to the chestplate and pushing Tony back a step. 

Well. 

Alvarez wasn't the only territorial one. 

Jensen stepped back, watching them arrange themselves with rapt joy. It was making Tony feel a little uncomfortable. Only a little, though. Mostly, he wanted to peacock. 

Steve stepped onto the jet boot, settling Tony's arm over his hip. 

“Let's go home, Avenger,” Steve said. 

“You realize we're only getting about as far as a deserted alley if you're gonna talk to me dirty like that,” Tony said over the private channel. 

“Good,” Steve said, sounding a little more tense now. “Can't let you go running off with every blond kid that looks at you like that.”

“Like that?” Tony repeated, because Jensen hadn't looked anymore lustful than the New York elite crowd did when Tony had to go gladhanding. 

“If he was an actual dog, he'd have humped your leg through that whole meeting and never noticed a word you were saying,” Steve said. 

Tony choked on a breath. 

“Plus, I think we've just opened the door to an unlimited number of Cap/Iron Man porn videos,” Steve said, squeezing the shoulder he had his arm over. 

“If you think you're getting out of this without drawing me some Cap/Iron Man porn, you don't know me but at all.”

**Author's Note:**

> This is an attempt to write one "Event" from two perspectives. This is a two story "story" with Jake Jensen and Tony Stark as our POV characters. Because of that, they do not necessarily happen at the same time, but they do overlap. If any point is confusing, let me know and I can straighten out the timeline.
> 
> This is not canon compliant for The Losers or The Avengers.
> 
> You will need to read both to have full perspective of the story. Jake's POV is posted first because it's the smaller of the two and what sparked the idea in the first place. I was only going to write Jake's and then Tony's reaction just needed explored.
> 
> There are 3 chapters for each story. 1 - the "5" chapters, 2 - Interlude (backstory/reflections), 3 - the "6" chapter (the "Event")


End file.
